What I do when I fall off the wagon
Over the last couple of weeks, my boundaries with my smart phone failed me and I ended up wasting a lot of time and falling into old habits.
The issue was that my NBN was disconnected by accident last year, and the company I was with (iiNet) were SO INCOMPETENT that I couldn’t bring myself to reconnect and give them more of my business, and I also CBF researching a new provider and then signing up with them.
So I bought a new sim card and loaded it with data, and I thought I would be safe to put it into my old iphone to use as a hotspot.
Well, I’m sure you can guess how that turned out.
Fast forward a few weeks, and YouTube shorts had weaselled their way back into my life, and all of the awesome things I got out of my dumb phone boundary started slipping away.
My house got messy. I started skipping workouts. My bed time got later and later.
I could just course correct in private and not bring it up, but I think there are a few important lessons here that are worth sharing.
First, how do I (personally) get myself back on track?
I journal every day, which gives me the opportunity to check in with myself every morning at the very least, but also throughout the day if I have some thoughts I need to process, or in the evening if something worth noting has happened in the day.
When I have a ‘blow-out’ day, I don’t pretend that it didn’t happen. I methodically examine all the things that went wrong, and then make a list of what I will do differently going forward.
The interesting thing about doing the failure state autopsy is that it’s usually not just one thing that went wrong, and often you’ll discover that you need to address several issues at the same time to prevent it from happening again.
Take yesterday as an example.
I thought the problem was just the phone and the social media because that was the most obvious and noticeable issue.
But the trigger was actually something else, and THAT led to the social media binge at the end of the day.
By doing a thorough analysis of what went wrong, I can see that actually the issue started with a breach of scoping boundaries, not with the smart phone.
Surprising isn’t it?
While I was in my build time, I got distracted by shiny object syndrome, and immediately went off on a completely different tangent, instead of making a note in my journal and returning to my allocated work.
I had 3 posts to edit and prepare for publishing, but I suddenly got an idea for a whole new project which I immediately started working on, instead of respectfully following the constraints of the Shape Up methodology which would require me to finish my current 6 week cycle, and then during the cool down period decide whether or not the new project deserved a cycle of it’s own or not.
Because I spent my build time working on the new project instead of what I was supposed to be doing, I had to work really late catching up on my planned work, which then made me even later and completely exhausted!
This made me miss my workout, feel tired and blah, making me made a prime candidate for blob time on youtube.
Fast forward several hours, and I got to bed way too late, felt exhausted and annoyed that I lost control of myself and my day in such spectacular fashion.
Lessons
Constraints are there for a reason. Neglect them at your own peril.
Finish one thing before you start something else. Half-finished work will haunt you forever but also you can’t start new stuff properly if you have unfinished business somewhere else.
Beware of shiny object syndrome. Especially during the final stages of a project when you might be feeling a bit tired and bored. The end of the project cycle is when you are most at risk.
Learn about the upper limit problem, and watch out for it! You are ALWAYS at risk of self-sabotage, so remember the old saying: “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.” Expect that self-sabotage is always waiting for a crack in the window to get in. It happens to all of us.
Stick to the program. If you have a plan, see it through to the end, don’t deviate from what you’ve already committed to (there are some exceptions here, but they are rare).
Be honest with yourself if you fall off the wagon, but also don’t beat yourself up about it forever. Address it, and then GTFO it!
Take the time to examine what is really going wrong and what is really behind the surface level indicators. Often it’s not exactly what you think it is. Don’t just focus on treating the symptoms, treat the illness.
Failure states usually start with one domino falling over. One ‘bad’ thing usually leads to another, but one ‘good’ thing is also likely to lead to another. If you are careful with how you start you day, you can do a lot to dramatically lower the risk of being derailed by anything (the upper limit problem is the exception here too, so just be vigilant!).
Dysfunction is usually driven by a need to mask or hide from something. If you are reaching for something toxic, ask yourself what you are running from or avoiding?
- Linda ✌🏻
P.S. DM if you’d like some 1:1 coaching to help you get your creative projects, ideas and goals off the ground.